’ve been filled with fire from the moment I was born. just filled —with so much passion. so much intensity. so much heat. i am a sagittarius sun, moon & have 5 planets in sag. HELLO FIRE.
my mom says I would run through the yard screaming of pure joy. I would rally the neighborhood kids to plan secret missions. I was constantly leading my siblings, friends, classmates to “break the rules” because let’s ROLL! let’s LIVE! fck this juice box lets find SODA!
this fire burned bright for awhile, until of course — it was time to fit in with society. I don’t know what age I was when I was first told my fire was wrong. because that first time, well it doesn’t really matter. what mattered was the years that followed. middle school. high school. college.
i was told again and again that i was too much. that fire in me, it was too strong. too hot. too intimidating. too loud. too eccentric. the fire that fueled my passion to live soon began to fuel my hate.
I let the world convince me that my fire was a bad thing — & I was left feeling like a bad person.
so, I was.
I began to hate not only myself but what felt like everything & everyone. I judged. I stole. talked back. got arrested. I was the girl mother’s didn’t want their daughters to hangout with. I was trouble.
but wanna know what sucked the most? alllll that time, all I needed was for someone to remind me that my fire could be used for good. that my fire is also a light. that my passion can inspire others & my intensity can take me anywhere I want to go.
it would have been nice to have someone do that for me, but let me tell you whats better — knowing I did it for myself.
I did the work. I dragged my ass to therapy. I journaled until my hand hurt. I meditated even when I wanted to give up. I reflected. I forgave — everyone & everything that judged my fire.
& most importantly, I forgave myself. for losing touch with the beauty that is, my fire.
so here she is, burning at all times. a constant reminder of what I love most — about me 🔥
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