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September 15, 2020

I was on birth control for 11 years. the pill was like magic back in high school. i was told it takes your cramps away, heals your acne & can make your boobs grow — it was a no brainer!!! low key still waiting for my boobs to sprout but I digress.

then college came & everyone screamed about the convenience of the IUD. “I barely get my period now!!” — the excitement was beyond. I always forgot to take my pill & periods “suck” so I jumped right on board.

but what no one told me is how birth control can disconnect us from nature. or that the female menstrual cycle is sync w the moon. or that my menstruation is beautiful & something to be celebrated. I wasn’t shown the power in embracing the phases of my cycle. or that sometimes I may feel less motivated, more tired & fatigued so I should listen to my body & slow down.

& what a damn shame. it wasn’t until I decided to prioritize my health that I realized something wasn’t right. meditation & journaling & reflection pulled me out of the darkness but I still felt like I had blinders on. I still felt off.

I blamed my mood swings, low sex drive & chronic spotting on being stressed. I told myself I just had to work harder at being ~chill~ and then I would feel like myself again.

no dice.

it wasn’t until I listened to my body that it became clear — it was fighting to find its natural rhythm.

it’s been 2 weeks birth control free and & I’m not gonna lie — it’s been a ride. emotional waves hit at all hours of the day. tears pour out of me without cause or warning. I am breaking out & spotting. I feel like I’m losing my damn mind — but I feel more free than ever before.

I know this won’t be easy. I know I need to be extra cautious. I know it gets worse before it gets better.

but you know what? I’m worth it.

I’m not here to convince you all to hop off of your birth control — I’m here to urge you to check in. how do you feel? is something missing?

at the end of you day you must choose what’s best for YOU. not what’s best for your bff or sister or your partner.

because you my friends, are worth it.


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