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June 29, 2021

if you know me you know that jeans + face full of makeup + blown out hair is a rare occurrence.

because more often than not I feel most beautiful, most authentic, most myself — fresh out of the shower. a clean face & freshly washed hair is like my own special kind of euphoria.

but I’m sure you can imagine that it wasn’t always this way. I remember the days in college when I first started dating casey. I would wake up early sneak into the bathroom to throw on some CC cream, mascara & brow gel. I remember when I would shower each day & scrub myself clean. shave. exfoliate. slab on my self tan lotion. look in the mirror & curse every inch of skin. every bump lump or lack thereof. I would joke that I was president of the itty bitty titty committee because humor made the reality I loathed sting a little less.

I worked out for hours a day I obsessed over every morsel of food I lived for the weekend because it’s what we all did but no one knew that deep down weekends were the worst for me.

I spent hours on my makeup my hair the shirt the shoes — because getting dressed up was my own version of hell. because I knew that no amount of makeup or forever 21 dress could make me love myself.

I lived in a chronic state of insecurity of hate of fear….until I chose differently.

the journey to self love is a post for another day but what I will say is this — it begins with self acceptance.

it wasn’t until I fully loved who I was without the hair the makeup the clothes that I am now able to enjoy the process of getting all done up. because throughout the whole process I am radiating on love > fear.

if an outfit doesn’t make me feel good I don’t wear it. no love lost. if I can’t get my eyeliner to look even I just wipe it off & go without. no love lost.

I move through the process with the understanding that these things are not what dictate my beauty my vibrancy my glow.

because the glow comes from within.

start there. start within. build yourself a foundation of acceptance & the love begins to flow with ease. regardless of the day the week the lashes heels or hand bag.

it’s not an easy road — but it’s worth the work.


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