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January 2, 2022

a dump of my up & down crazy hard but crazy beautiful 2021 📸

now…. I know a lot of our feeds are filled with people’s new year reflections, milestones, highlights & favorite moments. which is beautiful 🤍

but instead of sharing with you all my positives I want to share with you the hardships I endured this past year.

because struggle is normal.

uphill battles are normal.

low moments are normal.

feeling lost is normal.

feeling like you can’t win is normal.

feeling — is normal.

so, in 2021 I ….

— struggled to workout consistently. I maybe moved my body 4x a month.

— couldn’t gather the motivation to cook nourishing meals. I spent most of the year eating the same 2-3 meals that could be made in 10 min or less.

— barely posted on Instagram. for the most part inspiration was lost. i was numb to creation & felt like a failure.

— got caught in the narrative that nothing good in my life ever lasts. that people always leave once my shine wears off. I felt unworthy of this community, love from family , friends & from myself.

— had a bad body image most days. my back was covered in acne & I felt gross in my skin. it got to the point where I avoided mirrors or taking pictures.

— me & Casey went through one of the most challenging periods in our entire relationship. almost called it quits multiple times but conscious & mindful communication saved us.

— I felt lonely. like, always. I felt like I had no friends (which is not true at all but this fought to be felt). I had severe fomo every time I went on insta & saw other creators with their girl gangs.

— I battled guilt. immense guilt. feeling like I over promised & under delivered to this community & my RWP alumni. a lot of future plans for my biz changed & it was (and is) hard feeling like I let people down.

tbh, I could go on. but this really summarizes the daily battles I fought in 2021.

such heavy unworthiness. so much lack. so low vibrational.

but — even though I am yet to see WHY this had to happen, I simply trust that it did.

it’s a crucial & worthy chapter in my story nonetheless.

so, cheers! to me, to you, to anyone who fought the good fight this year.

we made it!


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