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December 9, 2020

when do you feel closest to yourself?

when you are in that flow. that sacred space. the one where you’re able to let your guard down & see your life, your struggles, your truth, your soul — for what it is?

for me it’s when I’m in nature & when I put pen to paper.

I get lots of messages asking how to begin journaling. but instead of just throwing a prompt at you, I want to share my story.

I was that girl who got a journal every new year. I would sit down & begin with the facts. documenting my interactions & romanticizing the details. but after awhile it got exhausting. because I wasn’t speaking from my heart. it was always my ego. the voice saying “what if someone reads this one day? make sure you sound good. typo? start over. no one cares about that. lie. stretch the truth. there, that sounds better.”

& like clockwork, Feb would come & my journal would be hidden on the shelf, collecting dust.

it wasn’t until 2017 when I read “A Return to Love” that I realized my ego dictated everything I did, said, thought, believed & perceived. I finally saw the pain & suffering I caused by denying my truth.

& so I chose to sit down & write as if no one was watching. no judgement. no expectations. just me & the flow of the pen spreading the ink that would become my truth. “I have an eating disorder.”

journaling, to me — isn’t about making things seem nice & tidy out of fear.

journaling, to me — is how I get my demons out of my body & onto paper. so I can look at them. see them for what they are. ask them where they came from. & do the work to release them.

journaling, to me — is how I tap into my wants, needs, desires. it’s my unfiltered view of the world & how I fit into it.

journaling, to me — is my oasis. it’s where I go to dream. release. reflect & speak my truth.

so my advice on how to start? release all expectations & trust your journal. it won’t judge you or tell you how to change, but instead hold space for you to do the work on your own.

a simple prompt that I use often: write “today I feel...” && see what comes to the surface.

because the only way out, is through 🕊


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