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December 8, 2021

I worked from a coffee shop today & it felt damn good.

spur of the moment travel pushed me to get outside my routine & you know what? I needed it. way more than I realized.

my list of struggles this past year feels excruciatingly long.

working from home being a big one.

casey & I went from a big beautiful 2 bedroom apartment to a big 3 bedroom house shared with my sister to our current living situation…. a teeny tiny 1 bedroom unit in an old house.

why live there if I dislike it so much? it was all we could find that met our needs. aka allows 2 big pups, has a yard & is okay with a month to month lease. it’s also cheap AF & we want to save for a house.

but going from having an actual office space inside my home for the last 2 years to working from my living room has been a huge adjustment.

our bedroom & kitchen are so tiny I spend 98% of my waking hours in our living room. it’s where I meditate, journal, eat, work, cry, rest, workout, take calls, unwind, hangout, you name it.

combined with minimal friends in the area, battling anxiety while being social & casey’s amount of travel I have felt lonelier than ever in the recent months.

there’s been this constant inner battle between sitting in the suck (acknowledging that my situation doesn’t serve my needs) & choosing to look on the bright side.

there’s nothing I hate more than complaining or being ungrateful. but the fact of the matter is our current home creates large waves of overwhelm for me. like the walls are closing in. a contraction so deep, sometimes all I can do is cry.

but today reminded me that everything is temporary. that I have the ability to change my perspective in the blink of an eye. that I can get outside those walls if I so choose it.

coffee shops are cool.

solo adventures are possible.

new friends are waiting for me.

my life is mine for the making.

it’s been a heavy few years.

a gentle reminder that being kept inside goes against our natural design. you are not wrong for FEELING. if the solitude is beginning to cripple you please know that you can feel your feels & be grateful too.

I’m right there with you.


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