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December 6, 2021


a solo sunday evening.


casey will be home for dinner, but the time until then is preciously mine.


& tonight I am falling back in love with the process of caring for myself.


it’s felt like forever since I truly showed up for my physical body. I’ve about mastered the care of my mind & soul but as someone who struggles with perfectionism & a disordered relationship to my body I am realizing that a large part of healing required me to take a step back.


my disorder disguised itself as passion for many years.


I was just passionate about food!

I was just passionate about working out!

I was just passionate about skin care & holistic wellness!


there were moments along my healing journey when I thought I was healed because I no longer binged & purged, counted measured or weighed…


because i thought that food was the only disorder that plagued me.


but even though I conquered mindful eating…. I found myself panicking if I couldn’t gua sha. or had a pimple. or if I couldn’t workout. or didn’t dry brush. or rebound. because I needed to drain my lymphatic system!!!!


when I finally saw that my disorder stretched beyond food & into all aspects of my health I had to pull back completely so that I could start from scratch.


I had to reapproach my relationship to self care.


if anything — the last year showed me that everythinggggg in my life needs a delicate balance. that each choice I make during my day has to be done through love — not through fear.


I used to gua sha because I was scared of wrinkles but now I gua sha to nourish my skin. I used to workout to lose weight but now I work out to connect to my body. I used to buy expensive skin care products because I needed my skin to be perfect but now I invest in high quality products because I fcking deserve it.


make every choice in your day a nourishing one & watch as your life begins to change for the better.


it’s simple really.


love > fear.


happy sunday 🕊




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