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December 30, 2020

I don’t think you’ll be surprised to hear that reflection is an everyday priority of mine. but once in awhile I surprise myself when my reflection travels beyond the previous day. week. month.

last night as casey & I sat under the moon to journal we both felt our hands move faster than usual. after pages & pages I got up & sat on his lap. I told him I was thankful for him joining me & that I was proud of him. he thanked me & said he was proud of himself too.

when we went to bed my mind wasn’t ready to rest yet & so I began to think back. way back. back to the start of 2020 when casey & I spent most of our nights bickering. on separate ends of the couch. noses in our phones. feeling distant without any idea how to bridge the gap. it was uncomfortable. communication was our weakness. we projected. got defensive. accused & assumed.

we were drowning.

until we weren’t.

it wasn’t until I stopped using my trauma as an excuse & casey surrendered to the gift that reflection holds & I learned to speak from my heart not my head & casey finally put pen to paper and saw his truth before him & it surely wasn’t until we both stopped reacting to who the other person used to be — that everything changed.

he had to stop responding to me as if I was the emma he knew years ago & I had to stop responding to him as if he was the casey I met in college.

last night I realized that I wasn’t the only one who chose again in 2020. he did too. & so did we.

we chose to release the past & instead — remain open to learning more about each other each day. we chose to communicate our needs & listen without judgement.

we chose to grow together.

&& it turns out that after 8 years you can fall head over heels in love with the person who stands before you — newly emerged as their most authentic self.

maybe we last forever maybe we don’t. this isn’t to make anyone feel insecure about their relationship — this post is to give hope.

we are ever changing creatures & this — THIS is beautiful. you have the ability to meet your partner each day with a fresh set of eyes, if you so choose it.

take the time. because rebranding can happen for relationships too 🕊


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