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December 14, 2021

I’m struggling to trust.

I’m struggling to believe that it’s all gonna workout.

that the next place we live will appear exactly when we need it. that financials will pull through to make 2022 a year of true security & freedom. that my physical body will respond to the love I am showing it. that I will finally feel worthy of all that I desire.

but I’m not here to just leave you with that. I’m here to show you that it’s okay. it’s normal. to doubt. to be scared. to let the weight of it all feel heavy for a moment.

because it’s only then — when you allow yourself to break — that you are handed opportunity.

to surrender. to release control. to exhale into love. knowing you are divinely held at all times.

& for me — this process of breaking is deeply healing. I let myself cry. weep. wail. kick scream yell you name it. I speak all my fears into a safe space so they can breathe (I usually word vomit onto casey, my mom or my sister, bless their hearts).

I do this so I can see clearly what darkness is asking for light.

& then comes the work. this is the part that takes dedication to self to love to healing.

after I shatter into pieces & let it all hang out — I take a moment (more like an afternoon) to do some shadow work. to explore the doubts. to call back the parts of myself that don’t feel capable or worthy & show them radical acceptance. I pull my shame from the shadows & realign myself with my divinity. my faith. my knowing.

*more on shadow work to come inside the REALWITH mastery*

this post is a reminder that you can only keep on keeping on, acting like you’re “fine” for so long before that darkness consumes you.

fck being fine.

we have glamorized suppressing our needs our trauma our joy our passion for the sake of… what? seeming tough? not being weak?

fck to the fckity fck that.

because I’ll tell you right now the bravest thing you can do is be the FULL embodiment of yourself. to feel your feels.

so lean the f in!!!!!

the more it bubbles up the more it is asking to be seen to be heard to be felt.

emotions = energy in motion.

let that sh*t flow 🕊

if you need me I’ll be on my couch diving into my 👥


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