I spent so long obsessing over my body, food & fitness.
when I started this account I was just beginning to heal from my ED. focusing on not binging & purging — leaving me totally clueless that I was suffering from orthorexia. I spent my time on instagram showing you my meals & workouts. it was healthy swaps! fat burning HIIT! low cal sushi order!
while those things have their place in holistic wellness — I’m sure you’ve noticed there hasn’t been much of that this year. without making a conscious decision, I stopped talking about those things — because I wasn’t obsessing over them anymore.
as I step into Dec I realize that 2020 was the year I stopped focusing on my body & focused solely on my soul.
I didn’t need healthy swaps, I needed low stress nourishment. I didn’t need hour long workouts, I needed hour long morning routines.
2020 was the year I filled my mental real estate with meditations instead of calories. journaling instead of sprinting. tarot, crystals & astrology instead of stress, panic & hate.
& with this revelation came another. that my soul is the most nourished it’s ever been but my body is not. I haven’t talked much about the physical pain I have. I’ve smiled through the acne, aching pain & CBD oil bottle graveyard.
it’d be easy to guilt myself for neglecting my body this year. but I know in my heart that my body has been patiently waiting for me to show up for it again. this time — with love instead of fear & compassion instead of judgement.
in order to heal I had to step back from the obsession with my body. food. fitness. but I’m slowly starting to crave those things again. healthy recipes. vibrant movement. & I’m not only excited for this next chapter — I’m ready.
I’m ready to create the balance between body, mind & soul. nourishing every part of me. & I’m so grateful that you all held that space for me. no one asked why I wasn’t talking about food or fitness. you let me be me no matter where I was at.
so thank you. truly. & buckle up! 2021 has so, so much in store 🕊
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